I am starting a series of lessons that I will be preaching Sunday mornings for the next little while on the family. There is little doubt that the family unit, as God ordained, is under attack. We must not only be aware of such, but do what we can to stand strong. The key to success is to focus on the family as God would have it, since He designed it. Let’s look at the pattern that we ought to follow.

The seriousness of marriage

When society puts little value on the institution of marriage, that same attitude can enter the minds of God’s people. It is so serious that man needs to see that the choosing of a mate is until death do they part (Rom. 7:1-4).  It isn’t the idea that they “try out” each other before the vows are made. The Hebrew writer pointed out, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”(Heb. 13:4). The idea of “saving” oneself until marriage is a joke in many circles. With that, it has also become a joke that marriage is for life. The danger of not taking marriage seriously can put one in a situation where their life is miserable and possibly a separation, having destroyed the right to ever remarry (Matt. 5:32; 19:9).

Choosing a mate wisely

Marriage is not something you rush into. Sadly, the mindset in past times was the “shotgun” wedding. Committing fornication is not a reason to get married. To think you “have” to get married is not thinking properly. The choosing of a lifelong mate should take into

consideration if this person will be a help or hindrance to your spiritual growth. Since we are admonished to choose our friends wisely (I Cor. 15:33), how much more so when it comes to someone you desire to marry? Too, keep in mind that if you find yourself in a situation where your mate is no longer, or never has been, a help to you, remember that you can influence them by your godliness (I Cor. 7:16).

The roles as God designed

The goal we all need to have is to function the way our God designed it. It isn’t our place to say that I want the woman to be the head of the household and for the man to be the keeper of the home, when God says otherwise (Eph. 5:23; Titus 2:5). Of course, that does not mean the husband treats his wife like a slave – read Ephesians 5:28-29.  Nor does it mean the wife is confined to the home – read Proverbs 31:10-31, about the virtuous woman. Keep in mind God designed marriage and the roles, not man. Therefore, we ought to ask ourselves; who really knows what’s best?

The role of parents

Just as there is divine guidance for the husband and wife, the same goes for parents. When children are brought into this world there are many God given responsibilities that must be obeyed. Most people accept the idea of providing for their physical needs (II Cor. 12:14). However, and more importantly, is the need to bring them up to serve the Lord (Eph. 6:4). This means to train them in the way they should go, knowing they need guidance (Prov. 22:6). Of course, the best way to do this is to lead by example. This was a blessing that Timothy received from his mother and grandmother (II Tim. 1:5).

The role of children

Even though children are just that, children, they have a duty to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1). It isn’t their place to make demands, and act as if they are entitled to everything they want. They also need to be thankful and show respect. This is what you read concerning the children of the virtuous wife (Prov. 31). In this passage, the children rise and called their mother blessed (vr. 28). This is just a sample from the lessons that will be preached in a series of lessons over the next few weeks.

Chuck

Over the years people have posed many hypothetical situations to me to get me to admit there are exceptions to the rule. They argue this on the assumption that if there is an exception to the rule, then the rule is invalid. This logic is simply not Biblical.

For example, the Bible clearly reveals that when people want to become a Christian they ought to be baptized immediately (Acts 2:42; 8:36; 22:16). But what if someone is in prison and there is no place to baptize them right away – does the prisoner invalidate his baptism by making arrangements with the prison officials? Of course not! The individual wants to be baptized right away but cannot, so he is immediately doing what he can to set up the baptism. This exception does not invalidate the rule.

What about the subject of divorce and remarriage? The Lord makes it clear that husbands and wives ought to remain married for life (Rom. 7:2).  This is true even if one is a Christian and the other is not (I Cor. 7:12-14). The only way anyone could remarry, according to the Lord, is if the mate dies or if a spouse is unfaithful. In the case of adultery, the innocent party can put the guilt away. Only the innocent can remarry (Matt. 5:32; 19:9).

When you show people that the only divorce sanctioned by the Lord is caused by adultery, all kinds of hypothetical situations are posed. What if the husband is beats the wife and kids? What if the husband abandons the wife? Is divorce permissible in these cases?

What does the Bible say about the husband that beats the wife? In Romans 13:3-4, the apostle Paul told the brethren that governing authorities are to be a help to those who do right. They are also there to punish those who do evil. If you and your children are being harmed, it is your right to be protected. Being separated from your mate for a period of time is approved by God (I Cor. 7:5). (This text was specifically dealing with a mutual agreement to separate for a time to devote self to fasting and prayer).

What if a mate abandons their spouse or family? Paul wrote that the loyal mate is not under bondage to them (I Cor. 7:15). In other words, they are not obligated to grab the children and chase them from one state to another. If they want to leave, let them leave. But again, the rule of divorce does not change.

Whether we are talking about baptism, marriage or any other law of the Lord, it is easy to come up with unlikely, hypothetical situations. You might even be aware of a few truthful, unusual circumstances. Still, there is no getting around what the Bible teaches. It is good for couples to work out their differences. God’s stance on divorce has not changed even though most people disregard what He has said.

Attempting to be exempted from God’s word is a waste of time. It is like when someone mentions Proverbs 22:6 and tells me that if a child is trained up properly, they will be faithful to the Lord. This is often true, but finding an exception to the rule does not mean the rule should be discarded.

Keep in mind, that there isn’t really any exception to the rule. To train a child up in the way of the Lord, and when they are faithful, the rule is true. When you teach someone incarcerated and they want to be baptized immediately, the rule is still true. When a mate is put out of harms way, yet their mate still hasn’t committed adultery, the rule is still true. Let’s not fall for the vain attempts to justify not doing what we are told in the word of God.

                                                                                          Chuck

Can I host non-believers at home?

Second John 10-11 seems to teach that Christians are only allowed to have other Christians in their home. “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him, shares in his evil deeds.”  Is the apostle forbidding saints to have non-Christians in their homes?

To understand this text, we must know what “greeting” contextually means. In verse 9, the brethren were admonished to abide in the doctrine of Christ. If they did not follow His doctrine, John said they would not have God. He then proceeded to take about those who bring teachings that are different from the gospel of Jesus. To receive such a teacher by allowing them to share their “doctrine” without speaking up or defend the gospel of Christ say nothing would be to become a partaker of their evil deeds.

If one were to take John’s warning literally, how could a person stay married to a non-Christian spouse? The inspired apostle Paul told children of God who were married to unbelievers to remain in that marriage (I Cor. 7:10-13). Clearly, the context of II John matters if we are to harmonize these scriptures. Can II John apply even within marriages then? Yes! If the unbeliever (whether a spouse or not) teaches things contrary to the word of God and the Christian says nothing, the Christian is sharing in the evil deeds.

Let us not forget about the commission to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ (Mark 16:15). God’s people need to teach the lost. Does this mean that Christians can teach nonbelievers in their driveway but cannot teach them in their home? This is obviously foolish. It would be just as wrong to listen to someone teach error without defending Christ’s gospel in a driveway as it would in a home or anywhere else. Remember, our goal is to teach. Even when the church assembles, non-believers may attend (I Cor. 14:23). Sometimes the church met in homes (Rom. 16:3-5). Are we to forbid visitors then? Clearly not. As you can see, our God simply does not want His children to invite false teachers into their home to be influenced by them.

                                                                                 Chuck