How sharp are you? 

Most readers have probably never been asked the title’s question before. However, it is something we all ought to consider. This thought comes from the text in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  Now we can see why it is important that we be sharp.

Knowing that iron can help iron get sharp when rubbed together, we ought to rub off on our friends. Let’s consider ways we can help others better themselves.

Help them with their speech

You cannot be friends with someone you do not talk to. Conversations between good friends have a natural flow, so we know their “truest” speech. Because we know them so well, we can help our friends speak properly by using our own tongues properly. The Proverb writer penned, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips,” (27:2). When our words praise others and not self, we are teaching a valuable lesson. When your friends learn this, they will do the same and then you sharpen each other.

Help them accept kindness

The best way to lead anyone, especially our friends, is by example. It is good to do things for others, but we must also be willing to accept help from time to time. Seeing you accept help will be an example for your friends on how to overcome their own pride (Prov. 16:18).

It takes a humble person to show genuine gratitude for what was done for them. We demonstrate appreciate with a handshake and the words “Thank you so much.” Or we might offer an unsolicited act of kindness in return. When they learn from your example, iron sharpens iron!

Help them learn to acknowledge their errors

This point also relates to pride. Nobody enjoys admitting that they were wrong about something, especially in front of friends. However, being willing to admit you were wrong shows you have an open mind and are more interested in truth than in defending a known lie (Prov. 14:5). If you want your friends to have a love for the truth, hone this skill because iron sharpens iron.

Help them see your priorities

True friends enjoy being with each other, and they know what is most important to each other. When a friend sees you turn down an opportunity to enjoy something fun that they know you love in order to do something more important, they will see you live out a great lesson (Prov. 10:9-10).  A true friend is willing to show their love for the Lord and provide for his family spiritually, emotionally and physically (I Tim. 5:8). Demonstrating this consistently will have iron sharpening iron.

Help them provide sound correction to others

In some ways, this point might seem to be the easiest. Recognizing error is generally easy, but pointing this out to a friend can be difficult. Consider again these words from Proverbs: “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue,” (28:23).  We can also find a good summary thought in Proverbs as well: “He who walks with the wise men will be wise. But the companion of fools will be destroyed,” (13:20). Keep these verses in mind as you ponder how sharp you truly are.

                                                                                               Chuck  

Effective Discipline 

Everyone needs moments of correction and rebuke throughout their lives. We need this in all of our relationships - parent to a child, a boss to an employee and even the church to a wayward member (I Cor. 5). When people do things that are wrong, there must be some kind of disciplinary action. If not, the problem will only get worse. Does the Bible give us any insight as to what would be effective disciple? The answer is yes. Let’s take a look at this important issue from a Biblical perspective.

Be angry and sin not

The brethren at Ephesus were warned about allowing their anger to cause them to sin (Eph. 4:26). When someone does something wrong, individuals will obviously be upset. However, we must use self-control or we could easily do or say something wrong too! When a rebuke is carried out with a lost temper, the person is just venting rather than trying to provide correction. There is a good reason why God’s people are to be slow to wrath (James 1:19).

Be consistent

Nothing destroys the effectiveness of discipline more than being inconsistent. Consider a parent who tells a child not to do something. The child does it and nothing is said. Then the child does it again and this time he is rebuked. And then another time it is overlooked. This does nothing more than create confusion and waste of time. Discipline must be done right away every time (Prov. 13:24).

Be unwavering

There is no sense in saying, “Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! I said, Stop! Okay fine, go ahead!” Such behavior teaches that obedience is optional. The guilty will try to justify their actions – that is what the guilty do. To exercise proper discipline, one has to be firm (Gal. 2:11).

Be certain

Discipline is necessary, but it must be justified. We can cause great harm if we rebuke an innocent person. Jesus warned about being angry with a brother without a cause (Matt. 5:22). Getting the facts is vital because wrongly punishing someone will only provoke them. Consider Paul’s warning to fathers not to provoke their children to wrath (Eph. 6:4). We need to be swift to hear and slow to speak for this very reason (James 1:19).

Be willing to enforce punishment

We can see how punishment works if we consider a parent who is applying all the principles discussed so far. For example, a father might tell his child, “Since you did what you were told not to, you will lose your cell phone privileges for two days.” The child says, “That’s not fair!”  The dad calmly responds, “Do you want to go for 3 days?” The child then raises their voice again and says, “You have got to be kidding me!” Then the father calmly says, “That’s 3 days, do you want to go for 4?”  By this time the child realizes they need to be quiet and accept the punishment before it gets worse. The father must now be firm – if he changes his mind and gives the phone back, nothing was accomplished.  The goal is to change the bad behavior (Prov. 22:15).

Effective discipline is not fun and games. Neither giving nor receiving chastening enjoyable, but the end results will hopefully bear fruit (Heb. 12:11). It is totally unacceptable to say that we love someone too much to discipline them. The truth is, we show love by offering discipline as needed (Heb. 12:6).

                                                                                       Chuck