Recently in our Sunday morning Bible study class we studied the text of I Timothy 5:3-16, dealing with duties of children with a widow parent. It is not the purpose of this article to go back over all the things we studied; however, it was brought to my attention that it would be good to expand on the hardships children often face in having to look after an elderly parent.

The fact is this: just as parents make tough decisions in raising their children, the same happens when taking care of aged parents. Often it comes down to judgment calls. We might be quick to judge harshly someone who puts their parent in a facility that is unwanted. To this we need to be careful. There are times when around the clock medical attention is required. A son or daughter may not be qualified to handle certain needs.

None of the judgment calls that we are talking about ever provides justification for abandonment. I knew of a couple that were blessed with the opportunity to grow very old together. The downside is that it got to the point where one couldn’t physically take care of the needs of their mate. The one was eventually put in a nursing home so she could get around the clock care. The husband got up each morning and went down and spent the day with her. He did that until she passed. My point is that it wasn’t a case of not wanting to care for her, it was that he couldn’t. The same thing can happen with children.

Not all decisions that parents make for their children are understood and appreciated. The same can happen with parents toward their grown children. The important thing to remember is whatever life changing decisions that need to be made for a parent, remember Paul’s words to Timothy, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (I Tim. 5:8). 

It’s not necessarily wrong to do something for a parent that makes it better for everyone. The danger is in trying to justify passing off one’s responsibilities by saying it is better for everyone when it is truly only better for you. There is no question that it is very hard for anyone who is looking after a parent on their own. I have personally seen family members age long before their time because of the stress and work that is involved in looking after a loved one.

This is something brothers and sisters need to be aware of. In Galatians 6:2, we are told to bear one another’s burdens. This might mean to volunteer to sit with the member’s parent while they have a night off. It also might be needed to give some objective advice that might be hard to utter. It is very difficult to hear advice that encourages you to seek professional care, when you feel that no one else should do your job. The text of I Timothy 5 wasn’t written to cast guilt upon loyal and loving children who are unable to personally handle all the physical needs.

One of the hardest things any child has to face is when the parent no longer is able to think properly to express their wishes. Gaining the power of attorney is a double edge sword. On one hand, a person can now make decisions that is best for someone else without their permission. However, there can be a lot of doubt and stress, hoping that they choose what their parent would have wanted.

It’s such a wonderful blessing to have our parents live a long life. The reality is that everyone will someday die (Heb. 9:27). Children, as they get older and have families of their own need to think and plan for what will eventually come as their parents age. Also, parents need to also be thinking about things to help make it easier for their children for when that time comes. To not talk about it can create so many more problems. The Bible lesson today is that even though we make many judgment calls, let’s never forget our God given duties.

Chuck

Questions and answers

about church money

Can church funds be used for any good work? No. Paul told Timothy that the church was not to use their money to help someone in need if family was available to help (I Tim. 5:16).

Can the church use its funds to help anyone in need? No. Churches are to help needy saints (I Cor. 16:1). Individuals can help anyone they want, but the local church is limited.

Can the church use its funds to finance senior trips, summer camps, sports leagues, etc.? No. The funds are used for evangelism and edification as described in the first article (Eph. 3:10).

Can churches take up collections whenever they want? No. The Lord gave authority for churches to take up a collection on the first day of the week (I Cor. 16:2).

Should churches tell the members to tithe? No. Tithing was done under the old law and is no longer binding (Col. 2:14). Christians give as they purpose in their hearts (I Cor. 16:1-2; II Cor. 9:7).

Should the amount a member gives be made known by the church? No. In the passages used above, they clearly state that giving is an individual activity. According to II Cor. 8:12, saints give according to what they have, not what they do not have. In other words, it is none of my business what other members give.

Based on the last question, does it even matter if Christians contribute financially? Yes. To not give as one has prospered is to go against the command of God (II Cor. 9:6-7).

Should members know what the funds are being used for? Yes. To give purposefully, one needs to know what the church is doing. If the funds are used inappropriately, then those who give are in error (I Cor. 16:1-2). Christians must be aware of how the funds are used.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Chuck                                                                

The use of church funds

      We all know that religious groups today have used their collections to fund everything from pizza parties, senior trips to building gymnasiums and having day care centers. The question is, are there binding examples that will limit the use of church funds, and help use know what they are to be used for?                                                                                 

Let me just say that if there are no binding examples in scripture, then we must just as well discard the Bible, for the flood-gate would open up. This is no more true than when it comes to the church funds that are collected. And since many do not respect approved examples as a means to establishing authority, you have religious groups doing anything they want with their funds. This is the reason why people make light of this whole discussion.

We can quickly set some boundaries if we have a scripture that will come right out and limit the use of church funds. There is and it is found in I Timothy 5:16. Read this text carefully. You will notice that Christians were given a responsibility to take care of a financial need that the church was not responsible for thus making a distinction between the work of an individual and the work of the church. Failure to see this, we cause one to miss the binding examples surrounding church funds.

Local church take up a collection each Sunday (I Cor. 16:1-2), for the work of the church. What are those works? Evangelism (Eph. 3:10); Edification (Eph. 4:120 and helping needy saints (II Cor. 8:1-4).  Within these three areas we have examples of churches sending to brethren in need. We have examples of preachers being supported directly, to preach (II Cor. 11:8). Notice that we do not have examples of churches sending money to another church to support preachers. Is that significant? Yes. The pattern of sending directly to the one preaching hold the local church accountable to making sure they support faithful men. If church “A” sent funds to church “B”, and the support a false teacher, how does church “A” know it?  We need to see the wisdom of God in providing us with approved examples as a means of establishing Biblical authority.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Chuck